Ollie's camping again.... home today!

Despite a broken arm and being in plaster the school (and his parents) allowed Ollie to go to camp up in the Grampians.  It's an Outdoor Activities camp so he won't be able to participate in all the activities but the fact that he is getting out there in the wilderness with his mates was important to me.

He left Monday morning so has spent two nights away, as with all the camps for his year level they have to cook/prepare their own breakfasts, lunches and dinners while away.  Ollie was in charge with dinners so left armed with hot dogs for Monday night and Ravioli in Bolagnese Sauce for Tuesday. It will be interesting to see how they got on over the 3 days, what the camp was like and if they survived Ollie's cooking??

There is always a strange feel in the house when one of our members is missing... there is a saddened quietness especially from either child when the other sibling is absent.  For Noel and myself it's just too quiet - outright too quiet.  Not niggling or arguments, no dobbing and unfortunately no silly giggling!!

All will be back to normal by 3pm this afternoon.......

Anzac Day 2012

They do no grow old

as we who are left grow old, 

At the going down of the sun 

we will remember them; 

Lest we forget.

A very long time between posts.......

I must say that while I haven't abandoned our family blog it has been quite hard to remain positive and continue to post our adventures due to certain things that have happened since Easter. I tried a few times but it was easier to delete and not post at all.

Time has moved on and while some things remain being unrestored, unresolved and unchangeable due to circumstance and situation I have decided put them into the left wing and with time let happen what will happen.

So not to rehash bad feelings or occurances that have happened ~ I take the step to move on and enjoy OUR life as a family - our special family!!

After all life is too short for all that shit..............

Meeting the kids at Sydney Airport

After almost two quiet weeks without the kids (they went to grandmas on Bribie Island for the school holidays) it was a wonderful and exciting moment when they arrived in Sydney.

No "fitting" title.......

There is really no title I can put on this post.... only now am I starting to feel better within myself about recent happenings.

Our trip to Sydney was a disaster to say the least. Our efforts to visit and meet our gorgeous niece Charlie were shattered by the unfolding of a family argument all because Noel and I had made plans to do some things we wanted to do. It's a very long story and not worthy of being on here for fear of any further backlash.

Bottom line - I am very lucky to have a wonderful, supporting and understanding husband, two beautiful children and a brilliant mother. All my energy and efforts will now be directed towards me, my health and these very important people as well as my friends from here on in!!

So to close I am putting my positive hat on and moving forward.....

Alex vs Stuart... Karingal Bulls vs Seaford Tigers

Tonight was a pretty special game of football. Although it was just a friendly game between Karingal Bulls and Seaford Tigers it was a wonderful moment for Alex. She played against her cousin for the first and possibly only time. The reason behind this is Stuart's in Under 10's and Alex is in the age group below, Under 9's.


The match took place at Kananook Football Ground, which is where the Frankston and District Junior Football League have the offices. The Franskton and District Junior Football League is the league in which both teams play in and have just erected new lights for the ground. Tonight's matches were in celebration of turning on the new lights "officially" for the first time.



Although it was a great night for not only our kids but that of both teams, some (including Alex) getting their photo's taken for local papers and for Frankston Council there was a sad element as while Stuart was there so was my sister. My sister chose to stay the other side of the playing field during the game and keep the boys from coming over to see us. Then she decided to hover around us during the speeches and presentations without even saying hello to mam. I don't care how she chooses to treat me, in fact I am at the point in my life that if we never speak again it now doesn't bother me. BUT to ignore mam was just outright rude, undeserved and to be honest bitchy! It probably didn't help matters that we were stood with Jamie and Kerry (who is Claire's partners ex wife) but normally Claire has more front than Myers and woudn't have let that stop her from proving she is better than everyone. Instead she maintained some distance. I know it hurt mam quite a bit although she is making it look like she has just shrugged it off.


After the match, we got home, changed the kids and then went out for a beautiful chinese meal at Quality Wok!!

My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

Cookies & Cream

Meet "Cookies & Cream" ~ she is our new rabbit. She's 12 weeks old and adorable.

After Alex's morning yesterday and the sad loss of Pumpkin, she wanted another rabbit to keep Muffin company (mind you there are two guinea pigs, Rocket and Patch) but as a parents the main thing is that your children are happy.

She proudly carried Cookies & Cream through the shopping centre and into the car, then took her to school to pick up Oliver - and although throughout the day she had tears there were quite a few smiles too... especially at the little fluffly white tail bouncing up and down with every hop.

Reconnecting with family......

I had forgotten to mention something special that has happened to me in the last couple of weeks, with everything that is going on I still cannot believe that I haven't blogged about it.

My cousin Anthony made contact with me!!

It was a nice surprise when opening my email one morning there was an email from Anthony. I have to say that it pleasantly made my day. I have been emailing with his mam, my aunty Marea, for awhile now so I thank her for passing on my email addy forward. Anthony is my cousin, on my mam's side of the family - one of the Lewis brood!!

Anthony and I haven't spoken since we were 18 when I went back to Wales (which I actually don't remember but he does) and before that my last memory of contact was when we were 8. So we will have a lot of catching up to do, that's for sure!!

Anthony is currently serving in the British Army and based in Muscat, Oman. He has done really well with his career in the army, serving for just over 20 years now, and is currently a Training Advisor for the Omani Armed Forces. I have always been proud of him, although we haven't had any personal contact. We have always heard about his adventures on the family grapevine. His wife Rachel and their two children, Ellis(8) and Ffion(6) are there also. Rachel is a Teaching Assistant at the British School in Muscat.

Then came the next surprise - they are coming to Australia!!!

They will be over here for 5 weeks, arriving at the end of July. In fact the flights have been booked and I must say circled on my calendar. This is brilliant. They are flying into Melbourne, want to visit Sydney and Brisbane during their stay here also.

Speaking of visitors, Rhian and James are meant to be in Melbourne next weekend. I have known about their upcoming visit Down Under since New Years, so it will be great to see them also. We last saw Rhian (my second cousin from the Davies side) and her husband James when they visited us maybe 7 years ago now. Oliver vaguely remembers them but Alexandria was too young. They are only planning to stay with us for a few nights but that doesn't matter as it will be great just to catch up.

A little birdy has told me that Dennis and Pam are looking at coming for a visit in September but it hasn't been confirmed.... they are wanting to go to Brisbane as well as Melbourne. Dennis is my cousin from the Davies clan and actually Rhian's dad. It's been quite awhile since we saw them also... Oliver was only a baby when they visited Australia last time.

Needless to say I will have to keep the linen clean at the Hotel da Murray for when we have reservations.... LOL!!!!


My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

A mini break..... well deserved that's for sure. (2009 in review!!)

A few months ago we decided it was time that we, as a family, took a little break. Not from each other but with each other!!

So this afternoon we are off to Bright, a beautiful town in the Alpine Region of Victoria. Although it's only for two nights and we return on Monday afternoon, I am sure these few days are going to do ALL of us some good.

In fact we haven't had a proper holiday as a family for about 4 years now. Sad but true! The last few years we have planned to go camping but in 2008 Alex broke her foot, so plastercast and was on crutches. This year two weeks before we have planned to leave she broke her wrist. Once again plastercast and this time in a sling she was not fit to brave the elements of the bush!

We also moved house in 2008, which as many of you know, it doesn't help the finances. Not to mention the time it takes to pack and unpack. In fact we are still unpacking... lol!!

Many other incidents have marred us this year, some huge and some little, but these have dampened our spirits and have affected us all in various ways. Personally, I don't think I have cried as much as I have this year, I don't think I have ever felt this angry or upset either.

On an emotional level I have struggled dealing with the relationship I have with my sister and with her life choices.

I have mentioned she has a new life, one I cannot imagine how she is enjoying. However I haven't really at any point gone in detail as to what happened so here it is..... the final time I will discuss her.

In one foul swoop of what can only be described as a premeditated chain of events her family situation changed by her doing. We had an inkling that she was having troubles in her marriage but as to how deep those troubles were we did not know and still don't. I say premeditated as the way things were done during her seperation to Jamie and they way it was played out HAD to be planned. Her ferel partner in crime's wife, also Claire's best friend at the time, walked out on her doomed marriage to said ferel on the Tuesday and by Saturday Claire had asked Jamie to leave.

Needless to say by March the 1st the ferel had just about moved into to Claire and Jamies house. I chose this day to visit Claire, arms open, to make sure was alright and to offer my support only to be met with the ferel down in her bedroom and Claire wanting to know if we would like to have coffee with them both! When questioned by me about the situation she had the nerve to look me straight in the eye and deny that anything was going on, they were both watching movies, had too much to drink and the ferel slept on the couch! Denying any sexual involvement sighting they were just good friends!! Hang on - I watched him leave her bedroom, I watched her skip up the hallway with the content "young love" feeling, I saw the couch was covered in about 4 weeks' worth of clothes, Claire doesn't drink that much at all and the ferel still lived up the road!

That was the moment I lost all respect for my baby sister.

Her beautiful home, that her and Jamie worked so hard on has been sold, and now she is living in a rental with the man she obviously slept with prior to seperating from her husband, the man who was friends with her husband, the man that her husband accepted into his home and their family and obviously the man who has managed with Claire's blessing to rip a family apart. While I don't like nor agree with the situation as it stands, I have to accept that it is her life and up to her but I also have to accept that I am not part of it and in a way that makes me somewhat happy.

I am learning to move past the anger and hate every day and I know that it will not change unless she wants it to. Not only has the relationship between my sister and I been damaged to what I consider beyond repair but this situation has damaged the dynamics of our once close family. My mam has been hurt immensely, not only by Claire chosen actions but by the backlash that this situation has caused. The yelling between me and mam, the arguing and the crying. I wish I could have protected Mam from all the hurt, anger and dissappointment she has felt and still feels, but there is nothing either of us could or can do as ultimately this was all's Claire's decision. This Christmas will be very hard for Mam and for me as Claire will not be present nor be welcome in our festivities, unless of course she makes the first move but even if she does there is a long road to travel before any hint of normality will resume.

But believe it or not - good has actually come out of that bad situation though. Jamie, even though seperated from my sister, has become closer to us as a family and in doing so our children are getting to know their cousins again as we have spent a lot more time with the Kyle, Stuart, Wesley and Angus than we have in the last four years.

Speaking of seperations, another relationship was finalised this year with Clare's "D-I-V-O-R-C-E became final today" (sorry Dusty Springfield, you sing it so much better) on 10th February, 28 days after the papers were filed. I really hope that now anything to do with that past relationship is over and done with that Clare will find true happiness. She deserves it and the man she finally decides to settle with, maybe Grahame (her current man), I must say will be one very lucky man. Clare has a beautiful spirit and an intelligent mind, and as her "big" sister I believe she deserves the best!

My health has been a major issue this year, finding out that I have Type II Diabetes in July. So finger pricking, glucose tests, more frequent visits to the doctor. I think I have seen that poor man once a week for every week this year! My blood pressure finally got in control and a perfect level but this last couple of months has seen it elevate again.... reason - STRESS!

Noel too has been and is still suffering with heal spurs, and short of seeing a surgeon and going under the knife, he has tried various treatments even medication but to no avail. It's hard to watch him struggle to walk when he gets up. But like me, everyday he puts on a brave face and soldiers on. Long term, though we really need to get this sorted and will be broaching the subject during the summer holidays.

The financial crisis here in Australia didn't help us nor did it help many other Australian families. Overtime was cut back for us but many others lost their jobs - thankfully we didn't. But the reduction in the pay packet did stretch our resources a little and many Aussies, including us, had to tighten the purse strings.

Work, is playing mind games with both me and Noel. Noel's work has become ridiculously busy and he is working four nights overtime some weeks but yet the company announced that 25 people have to be made redundant within the company and the axe will be dropped next Friday the 11th December. I think he should be safe as he is a good worker but bottom line is he is just an employed number like me. My workplace (quarry) is closing soon and all the employees with be sent to other quarries to work. The only problem is they, at this point in time, have said to me I have a guaranteed job, but they are not certain where or doing what, worse case scenario is I take a huge step backwards, relinquish my duties, become a full time weighbridge operator "short term"!

Not to mention the little things (good and bad) like rocks being thrown through windows, football club responsibilities, the bushfires, a couple of minor earthquakes in Victoria, deaths of a few acquaintences, the highs and lows of our friends and their relationships, and even the fact Oliver is actually going to high school next year, just to name a few have all had different effects on me and the family.

The highlight of this year, however, was the birth of Daniel. His arrival has topped the year off nicely as there is nothing that can raise a family's spirits than the arrival of a baby. As I have mentioned recently it was great to all be together once we were told Daniel was born. Good to be a part of the first few days and weeks, not only getting to know him but to be there for both Sean and Vicky.

Needless to say that beside a few good things, this year has been a truely horrible year for me and my family, one I hope never gets repeated. But saying that, this year has brought lots of experiences. Experiences I can only draw from and learn from but pray to God I never have to face them again.

It's only 26 days until 2010 and I pray and hope and wish and dream that 2010 will be a better year.......

My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

PS Hit me if I vent negativity anymore this year... please!!!

Moving on....

The past few days I have spent doing some serious thinking mostly on a personal level. There has been quite a few discussions, a few phone calls and many moments of solitude.

As several of you know and many have read, there has been some major dilemma's in my family not only recently but over the last few years. Many of these dilemma's have been long winded and some still unresolved.

The problem I have is that I just want to fix everything, make everything right and ultimate have peace and happiness surrounding me.

Alas with this latest installment in my life, the separation of my sister and her husband, I have come to realise that my magic wand does not work nor does it actually exist!

I cannot no longer worry about my sister until she reaches out to me for help or support or friendship. The fact that I am offering and wanting to help is not being recipricated by her and is actually emotionally effecting me. I see no future with this relationship as it stands at the moment, as upsetting as it sounds I have to let go.

But thankfully without the use of magic, I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws Ann and Ged. They are of such a help emotionally and fantastic support to both Noel and I. I know that I can talk to them, discuss with them so many aspects of my life and I thank them for being so kind as just to listen. Not to mention that they have a very special and close bond with Oliver and Alexandria.

I am also grateful for the relationship that I have with Clare, who is like a Clayton's sister in law. I say this because she is more like a real sister than one that is related only by title. I love her to bits, chat as often as we can and party like there is no tomorrow when we are together.

Through all the ups and downs that Sean has had in his life with Vicky, we are finally building a relationship with them and their son, Christian. It is a wonderful feeling and I am looking forward to what the future holds not only for them as a family but for all of the family as a whole.
And as you all know my mother is my best friend..... we have a wonderful relationship which at time is more than mother and daughter.

So without the aid of magic, I must move onwards with my life, with my husband, with my children and with my family. For they, along with my mother, are my world.

Things are looking brighter.....

I can tell you these last three weeks my emotions have been yo-yoing up and down as much as my scales are!! LOL - actually not that funny but very true!!

BUT today is a much better day....I have decided that with the exception of my friends and the happy family members I need to make me and my family the number one priority. By sayin me and my family I mean the four of us - Noel, Oliver, Alex and I.

In making this decision I actually woke up this morning feeling much better and also feeling a little good about myself. I crossed fingers that this was the beginning of good times.

Then something wonderful happened as I was driving to work... I entered a competition on the radio. The competition was to tell Vega the most weirdess combination of shop that you have ever been in... so I rang, got through the first go explaining that my shop (close to home) is an Indian Spice Shop that also does home loans and personal finance! At this point in time I lost mobile reception and thought I had blown it. Two minutes later Vega ring me back, ask if the reception area I am in now is any better and proceeded to tell me that this has to go on air. So there was myself and about 5 or 6 other callers with their weird and wonderful shops but Dicko and Dave chose me!!

Low and behold I have won 2 gold class tickets to a movie pre-screening next Wednesday night "Confessions of a Shopaholic" at Crown Plaza in Melbourne and check this, I also won $500 cash! OMG!! I was that excited and nervous this morning I nearly wet my pants (sorry for the graphic image) and I still cannot believe that not only did I win something but I was on the radio!!

Better go off and buy a tatts ticket I think!!

Normality - can I have mine back please?

I just cannot seem to find it or remember what exactly normality is!!

The last three weeks have seen my world change drastically.

Firstly, a long history with me and my sister (some of you already know of it) but in a nutshell she hasn't really spoken to me for a few years - basically pushed me out of her life for her own reason and I don't know what that is.. I have learned to live with this but it hurts. Sadly, I do not have a close relationship with my nephews especially the youngest one (2) as he doesn't even really know who I am. This hurts me because they are my nephews and my kids are suffering also - my kids are missing out on growing up with their cousins, my kids are missing out on their aunty.

Secondly, three weeks ago my sister decided (don't know how hard she thought, mind you?) to kick her husband of 9 years out. Okay I know that this is her choice but she won't explain why she made her choice. Now I know that he is not a wife beater, not abusive emotionally or physically, adores her and their four boys (under 11), works full time, helps around the house, cooks, does washing - what more can I say? All she is saying is "because I wanted too!" aaarrrrgggghhhhh

Thirdly, I thought I would do the right thing as a sister (even though quite estranged) and visit her, offer my support and just to show her I was there. So Sunday morning we called in unannounced armed with a huge bunch of flowers and a very nice support card only to end up arguing due to certain circumstances I just wish I had not seen. The boys were with Jamie so I knew she should have been alone ~ she wasn't. "He" was there and in her bedroom. But although what I saw didn’t look good she continued to tell me “nothing was going on”, “why doesn’t anyone believe what I am saying?” and all the time I stood there looking at her I didn’t vocally judge her or pass comment but stood there actually thinking that she just out rightly thinks that I am stupid enough to believe her.

Fourthly, I had to tell my mam what I had witnessed. I knew that I couldn’t not tell her. And of course, with her anger and disbelief of the situation (not with what I had told her) she had to then speak to my sister. After my sister speaking to my mam and having a humdinger it was my turn to be in the firing line (which I expected and was just waiting for). She rang me enraged and we had a massive argument on the phone - which I am sure that all my neighbours would have heard. She accused my mother and I of “having nothing better to do than to talk about her behind her back” to which I replied “we have no option as you obviously don’t want to confide in us” and then I continued with a few more home truths, I am sure that she didn’t really want to hear.

Fiftly, Noel tripped/slipped on Monday night landing on his back and cracking a vertebrae and is suffering from huge swelling, bruising, pain and of course struggling to walk or get comfortable. I spent the last two days at home with him, which also included a six-hour stint at the emergency department making sure he really was okay and also having the required x-rays.

Sixthly, I had to get my BP checked yesterday and after 22 weeks of juggling tablets, trying new medications and finally getting my BP "perfect" it has gone up again. Not majorily but up. I had expected it too. I even told Noel that I didn't want to have my BP checked. Now instead of going every four weeks I am back to a fortnightly appointment.

Needless to say that, my world has really been rocked this last few days more than it ever has before (with the exception of the death of my father, of course). I don’t know what my feelings are, what my thoughts are, what I should be doing or even if there is anything I can do to help/change the situation. I have cried, I have screamed, I have yelled, I have sat in silence and now I am exhausted physically, mentally and more then ever emotionally.

I am sure that in time everything will right itself and that I just have to ride the storm.

What's going on with our Claire???

Life is just not right and definately at times not fair!

I have been holding off on posting anything about this topic purely because of my lack of knowledge on the subject but it is really bothering me.

My sister, Claire and her husband Jamie have seperated although not everyone knows. It has been several weeks now. After 9 years of marriage and 4 children apparently "it's just not working anymore" and hasn't been for a long while. This saddens me.

Not only I have always look upon my sister, her lifestyle and her family with jealousy and admiration but due to the fact that Claire and I aren't as close as normal sisters should be I had no idea of what was really going on.

Seven years younger than me, and for what I saw I always thought she was happy with her lifestyle. She was young when she met Jamie, I think around 16 but they have been together ever since. As I mentioned she has 4 young boys (Kyle 10, Stuart 8, Wesley 5 and Angus 2) which are her world, she has a house, a social network, involvement in the school and kinder, positions on severeal committees, a candle business (party plan), morning and afternoon teas with friends and a most of all a husband that actually adores her. Obviously what I see isn't the same as what she does.

I haven't caught up with her yet and it is hard enough getting to talk to her on the phone. When we do speak she's more interested in what is happening with me and my family while I am trying to find out what is happening with her. Needless to say our conversations are going around in circles.

.

I really want to visit her but not sure of how the reception will be. Selfishly, I don't think I could emotionally handle her lack of sisterly love at the moment. I have battled many demons regarding my relationship with my sister and have always blamed it on something I have done or the person that I am. Finally, with the help of Noel, my mam and my close friends, I am coming to realise that maybe it's not me, maybe it's not my fault but in all truth although I am nearly okay with it I am not 100% convinced as yet. Maybe it's all that she has been going through these last few years is why we don't have a sister to sister relationship? Who knows?

.

She is not very forthcoming with information about this situation to me or with anyone else for that fact (actually she is not a very forthcoming person at any time). To be honest what she is saying isn't really making that much sense or providing any genuine reasoning behind her decision. That worries me a lot as I am a firm believer that "because" is not an answer to a question if you know what I mean. There needs to be something solid, some reason why she has decided to end her relationship, an icident or an issue that is leading her to turn not only her life upside down but the life of her husband and their children. Don't get me wrong, I will support her depending of course on some certain circumstances but she needs to be honest and open with me.

.

Although our relationship (for that reason I am not aware of?) has been distant and almost non-existent I don't want her to think she has to do this on her own. I want her to know that I am here for her, that we are all here for her and that we love her no matter what her decision is.

.

The only thing I am praying for is that she does make the right decision in the long run....

Grandma arrives today.....

Cannot believe it's the 18th of December already. I just knew December was going to fly by and it has....

.

My mam arrives today from Brisbane. It seems like only yesterday I found out that my uncle had purchased her fares for her as her Christmas present many weeks ago and he was still in Wales then. He's up at her place now but not coming to Melbourne for Christmas. He has made many friends up on the island so that's where he prefers to be.

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I am excited that Mam is arriving today. It has been too long since I saw her and I can't wait to have one of those mother/daughter hugs that are so special and it doesn't really matter how old you are!

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Although I am excited, I am also sad. The reason I am sad is I am not sure when I will see my mam. As it's a Thursday today she will go straight to Claire's. That's the deal we all have when she visits. During the week, when we are working she stays at Claire's as Claire doesn't work. Then she comes to us on the weekends, normally on the Friday night and then goes back to Claire's on the Monday morning. This time I am not sure whether we will see Mam on Friday night. As Mam is spending Christmas with me and my family I actually suggested to Mam that she maybe stay with Claire over the weekend so she has some family time with them.

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Plus there is the small fact that Claire and I still haven't spoken since I told her that I wasn't going to pretend to be happy families anymore. In fact, she hasn't acknowledged the SMS I sent after the last phone call. This is my text that I sent to her on 5/12/08:

"Forgot to ask when we were talking today - why? Why don't you want to associate with me or my family except for when Mam is here? Why don't you want to spend anytime with us? I suppose the overall question is - what have I done? Tell me please! Don't want to continue the way we have been. Would really like to resolve this and move on as a normal family - not a "special occassion" family. I really hope you will contact me soon but it's up to you now!"

Not too harsh I hope, just something I needed to do. The text, I suppose, was a condensed version of the letter that I sent her back in September by registered post that she didn't bother to collect from the post office and it was returned to me!!

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Needless to say - I have heard nothing. I have had no reply. I am obviously not worthy of any form of explanation or even acknowledgement. I one sense, it confirmed everything.

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Oh well, although it's eating me up inside I must not let it ruin Christmas for my family... so back to thinking happy thoughts!

Finally I was strong so why do I feel like shit?

After picking myself up off the floor on Wednesday because my sister rang me to actually thank me for my nephew's birthday card that I sent, we had a little chat and then she asked if me and my family would like to go for dinner at their house the night that Mam arrives. Now that pissed me off.... here we go again "happy families" because Mam is here! I told her I would see and get back to her.

Anyway after mulling over my options since Wednesday I finally made my decision.

I rang her this morning. It was hard as I tried to be strong and sound positive whilst holding back tears. I thanked her for her invitation, told her that we would not be coming because I don't want to play "happy families" anymore just because Mam is visiting when she cannot be bothered to contact me any other time of the year and basically that I have given up trying to invite them for dinner, etc. I did say that I wished more than anything that we could be friends and even sisters.

All she could say was "I know what you mean"!!!

I suggested if she wanted to discuss this just the two of us could go for a coffee if she wanted to.

The phone conversation ended with "will talk to you later" then the dial tone! No goodbyes just a hang up.....

I know that something needed to be done as I cannot continue with all the heart ache and the hoping that the situation will just miraculously change one day and we will behave like a normal family again.

In a way I think I may have acted selfishly and put my feelings first but it hurts to know that she is so close, wants nothing to do with me, doesn't want to interact with me or my family and only contacts me for special occasions (birthdays etc.) or when Mam is down visiting hence the "happy families" label!

Not only do I feel sorry for me though.... it's not all about me! I feel sorry for the 6 kids involved. My kids don't know their cousins and their cousins don't know them!!! They are going to grow up not knowing each other and that is really sad!!!

The only thing I regret about the phone call is that I didn't ask her what I did to make her not want to associate with me or my family?

It's not going to change, I know that now.... and although it hurts I must get on and enjoy my life!