What's going on with our Claire???

Life is just not right and definately at times not fair!

I have been holding off on posting anything about this topic purely because of my lack of knowledge on the subject but it is really bothering me.

My sister, Claire and her husband Jamie have seperated although not everyone knows. It has been several weeks now. After 9 years of marriage and 4 children apparently "it's just not working anymore" and hasn't been for a long while. This saddens me.

Not only I have always look upon my sister, her lifestyle and her family with jealousy and admiration but due to the fact that Claire and I aren't as close as normal sisters should be I had no idea of what was really going on.

Seven years younger than me, and for what I saw I always thought she was happy with her lifestyle. She was young when she met Jamie, I think around 16 but they have been together ever since. As I mentioned she has 4 young boys (Kyle 10, Stuart 8, Wesley 5 and Angus 2) which are her world, she has a house, a social network, involvement in the school and kinder, positions on severeal committees, a candle business (party plan), morning and afternoon teas with friends and a most of all a husband that actually adores her. Obviously what I see isn't the same as what she does.

I haven't caught up with her yet and it is hard enough getting to talk to her on the phone. When we do speak she's more interested in what is happening with me and my family while I am trying to find out what is happening with her. Needless to say our conversations are going around in circles.

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I really want to visit her but not sure of how the reception will be. Selfishly, I don't think I could emotionally handle her lack of sisterly love at the moment. I have battled many demons regarding my relationship with my sister and have always blamed it on something I have done or the person that I am. Finally, with the help of Noel, my mam and my close friends, I am coming to realise that maybe it's not me, maybe it's not my fault but in all truth although I am nearly okay with it I am not 100% convinced as yet. Maybe it's all that she has been going through these last few years is why we don't have a sister to sister relationship? Who knows?

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She is not very forthcoming with information about this situation to me or with anyone else for that fact (actually she is not a very forthcoming person at any time). To be honest what she is saying isn't really making that much sense or providing any genuine reasoning behind her decision. That worries me a lot as I am a firm believer that "because" is not an answer to a question if you know what I mean. There needs to be something solid, some reason why she has decided to end her relationship, an icident or an issue that is leading her to turn not only her life upside down but the life of her husband and their children. Don't get me wrong, I will support her depending of course on some certain circumstances but she needs to be honest and open with me.

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Although our relationship (for that reason I am not aware of?) has been distant and almost non-existent I don't want her to think she has to do this on her own. I want her to know that I am here for her, that we are all here for her and that we love her no matter what her decision is.

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The only thing I am praying for is that she does make the right decision in the long run....