Saturday, December 05, 2009

A mini break..... well deserved that's for sure. (2009 in review!!)

A few months ago we decided it was time that we, as a family, took a little break. Not from each other but with each other!!

So this afternoon we are off to Bright, a beautiful town in the Alpine Region of Victoria. Although it's only for two nights and we return on Monday afternoon, I am sure these few days are going to do ALL of us some good.

In fact we haven't had a proper holiday as a family for about 4 years now. Sad but true! The last few years we have planned to go camping but in 2008 Alex broke her foot, so plastercast and was on crutches. This year two weeks before we have planned to leave she broke her wrist. Once again plastercast and this time in a sling she was not fit to brave the elements of the bush!

We also moved house in 2008, which as many of you know, it doesn't help the finances. Not to mention the time it takes to pack and unpack. In fact we are still unpacking... lol!!

Many other incidents have marred us this year, some huge and some little, but these have dampened our spirits and have affected us all in various ways. Personally, I don't think I have cried as much as I have this year, I don't think I have ever felt this angry or upset either.

On an emotional level I have struggled dealing with the relationship I have with my sister and with her life choices.

I have mentioned she has a new life, one I cannot imagine how she is enjoying. However I haven't really at any point gone in detail as to what happened so here it is..... the final time I will discuss her.

In one foul swoop of what can only be described as a premeditated chain of events her family situation changed by her doing. We had an inkling that she was having troubles in her marriage but as to how deep those troubles were we did not know and still don't. I say premeditated as the way things were done during her seperation to Jamie and they way it was played out HAD to be planned. Her ferel partner in crime's wife, also Claire's best friend at the time, walked out on her doomed marriage to said ferel on the Tuesday and by Saturday Claire had asked Jamie to leave.
Needless to say by March the 1st the ferel had just about moved into to Claire and Jamies house. I chose this day to visit Claire, arms open, to make sure was alright and to offer my support only to be met with the ferel down in her bedroom and Claire wanting to know if we would like to have coffee with them both! When questioned by me about the situation she had the nerve to look me straight in the eye and deny that anything was going on, they were both watching movies, had too much to drink and the ferel slept on the couch! Denying any sexual involvement sighting they were just good friends!! Hang on - I watched him leave her bedroom, I watched her skip up the hallway with the content "young love" feeling, I saw the couch was covered in about 4 weeks' worth of clothes, Claire doesn't drink that much at all and the ferel still lived up the road!
That was the moment I lost all respect for my baby sister.

Her beautiful home, that her and Jamie worked so hard on has been sold, and now she is living in a rental with the man she obviously slept with prior to seperating from her husband, the man who was friends with her husband, the man that her husband accepted into his home and their family and obviously the man who has managed with Claire's blessing to rip a family apart. While I don't like nor agree with the situation as it stands, I have to accept that it is her life and up to her but I also have to accept that I am not part of it and in a way that makes me somewhat happy.

I am learning to move past the anger and hate every day and I know that it will not change unless she wants it to. Not only has the relationship between my sister and I been damaged to what I consider beyond repair but this situation has damaged the dynamics of our once close family. My mam has been hurt immensely, not only by Claire chosen actions but by the backlash that this situation has caused. The yelling between me and mam, the arguing and the crying. I wish I could have protected Mam from all the hurt, anger and dissappointment she has felt and still feels, but there is nothing either of us could or can do as ultimately this was all's Claire's decision. This Christmas will be very hard for Mam and for me as Claire will not be present nor be welcome in our festivities, unless of course she makes the first move but even if she does there is a long road to travel before any hint of normality will resume.

But believe it or not - good has actually come out of that bad situation though. Jamie, even though seperated from my sister, has become closer to us as a family and in doing so our children are getting to know their cousins again as we have spent a lot more time with the Kyle, Stuart, Wesley and Angus than we have in the last four years.

Speaking of seperations, another relationship was finalised this year with Clare's "D-I-V-O-R-C-E became final today" (sorry Dusty Springfield, you sing it so much better) on 10th February, 28 days after the papers were filed. I really hope that now anything to do with that past relationship is over and done with that Clare will find true happiness. She deserves it and the man she finally decides to settle with, maybe Grahame (her current man), I must say will be one very lucky man. Clare has a beautiful spirit and an intelligent mind, and as her "big" sister I believe she deserves the best!

My health has been a major issue this year, finding out that I have Type II Diabetes in July. So finger pricking, glucose tests, more frequent visits to the doctor. I think I have seen that poor man once a week for every week this year! My blood pressure finally got in control and a perfect level but this last couple of months has seen it elevate again.... reason - STRESS!

Noel too has been and is still suffering with heal spurs, and short of seeing a surgeon and going under the knife, he has tried various treatments even medication but to no avail. It's hard to watch him struggle to walk when he gets up. But like me, everyday he puts on a brave face and soldiers on. Long term, though we really need to get this sorted and will be broaching the subject during the summer holidays.

The financial crisis here in Australia didn't help us nor did it help many other Australian families. Overtime was cut back for us but many others lost their jobs - thankfully we didn't. But the reduction in the pay packet did stretch our resources a little and many Aussies, including us, had to tighten the purse strings.

Work, is playing mind games with both me and Noel. Noel's work has become ridiculously busy and he is working four nights overtime some weeks but yet the company announced that 25 people have to be made redundant within the company and the axe will be dropped next Friday the 11th December. I think he should be safe as he is a good worker but bottom line is he is just an employed number like me. My workplace (quarry) is closing soon and all the employees with be sent to other quarries to work. The only problem is they, at this point in time, have said to me I have a guaranteed job, but they are not certain where or doing what, worse case scenario is I take a huge step backwards, relinquish my duties, become a full time weighbridge operator "short term"!

Not to mention the little things (good and bad) like rocks being thrown through windows, football club responsibilities, the bushfires, a couple of minor earthquakes in Victoria, deaths of a few acquaintences, the highs and lows of our friends and their relationships, and even the fact Oliver is actually going to high school next year, just to name a few have all had different effects on me and the family.

The highlight of this year, however, was the birth of Daniel. His arrival has topped the year off nicely as there is nothing that can raise a family's spirits than the arrival of a baby. As I have mentioned recently it was great to all be together once we were told Daniel was born. Good to be a part of the first few days and weeks, not only getting to know him but to be there for both Sean and Vicky.

Needless to say that beside a few good things, this year has been a truely horrible year for me and my family, one I hope never gets repeated. But saying that, this year has brought lots of experiences. Experiences I can only draw from and learn from but pray to God I never have to face them again.

It's only 26 days until 2010 and I pray and hope and wish and dream that 2010 will be a better year.......

PS Hit me if I vent negativity anymore this year... please!!!

1 comment:

Clare Murray said...

WOW! What a year it has been, you definately deserve that mini-break. Thanks for the kind words about me. I didn't know about Noel's work, fingers crossed everything is okay and your job keeps you interested whatever it ends up being. Hope your mini-break was awesome. Luv Sis


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