Did the earth move for you?

Last night around 9pm we all experienced our first earthquake.... frightening to say the least but very bizzare!!

It was like being at a fair ground and just starting off on the roller coaster ride. Alex and I were cuddled on the coach watching the tv when it started and it was just an unreal feeling.

According to the news the earthquake which only lasted a few seconds measured 4.6 on the Richter Scale and spanned more than 200kms from it's epicentre in South Gippsland. The epicentre hit just north of Korumburra, but the earthquake was powerful enough to shake buildings and cause some residents to fall off their couches in metropolitan Melbourne. Some homes in Korumburra and Leongatha lost power for up to 10 minutes but there has been no reports of major damage.

As you know, we live in Frankston and Korumburra is quite a while away but from this picture you can see that it was even felt in Belmont which is the other side of Port Phillip Bay!! (Picture courtesy of the Herald Sun)

I cannot believe what is happening so far in 2009.

In the past six weeks Far north Queensland has experienced mass flooding with some places recieving up to 2 metres or more of rain causing isolation of towns and communties.

While all of this was happening Victoria has received very little rain, in fact as low as 0.8mm during February and having a total of 35 days straight without rain. Not to mention the extreme heat, which saw places like Mildura suffering 12 consecutive days of more than 40C and that dreaded day, February 7th, where the temperature reached 46.4C, causing devasting bushfires and will forever be remembered as Black Saturday, a day that saw mass devastation and loss of lives.

Now we have had an earthquake... I shudder to think what could be next!!

Things are looking brighter.....

I can tell you these last three weeks my emotions have been yo-yoing up and down as much as my scales are!! LOL - actually not that funny but very true!!

BUT today is a much better day....I have decided that with the exception of my friends and the happy family members I need to make me and my family the number one priority. By sayin me and my family I mean the four of us - Noel, Oliver, Alex and I.

In making this decision I actually woke up this morning feeling much better and also feeling a little good about myself. I crossed fingers that this was the beginning of good times.

Then something wonderful happened as I was driving to work... I entered a competition on the radio. The competition was to tell Vega the most weirdess combination of shop that you have ever been in... so I rang, got through the first go explaining that my shop (close to home) is an Indian Spice Shop that also does home loans and personal finance! At this point in time I lost mobile reception and thought I had blown it. Two minutes later Vega ring me back, ask if the reception area I am in now is any better and proceeded to tell me that this has to go on air. So there was myself and about 5 or 6 other callers with their weird and wonderful shops but Dicko and Dave chose me!!

Low and behold I have won 2 gold class tickets to a movie pre-screening next Wednesday night "Confessions of a Shopaholic" at Crown Plaza in Melbourne and check this, I also won $500 cash! OMG!! I was that excited and nervous this morning I nearly wet my pants (sorry for the graphic image) and I still cannot believe that not only did I win something but I was on the radio!!

Better go off and buy a tatts ticket I think!!

Noel's back....

Please don't look at these if you get a queezy tummy...... oh and excuse the bum!! Sorry for the added shock factor!!!
.
My poor man's back after his fall on Monday night. It's amazing that a slip could do so much damage! Thankfully with time he will be okay but he has a visit to the doctor's this morning. I am a little concerned about the small crack in his bone so we will have to keep an eye on that healing.
3
Tuesday morning.......
3

But then by Wednesday......

3
Will have to take another photo tonight as his back is almost completely purple now.

LOL!! I am definately am sure I will be reminded about how bad the back is over the next few days.
3

A friend of mine asked me if "man back" is as bad as "man flu"??? Hhhhmmmm I wonder.....

Normality - can I have mine back please?

I just cannot seem to find it or remember what exactly normality is!!

The last three weeks have seen my world change drastically.

Firstly, a long history with me and my sister (some of you already know of it) but in a nutshell she hasn't really spoken to me for a few years - basically pushed me out of her life for her own reason and I don't know what that is.. I have learned to live with this but it hurts. Sadly, I do not have a close relationship with my nephews especially the youngest one (2) as he doesn't even really know who I am. This hurts me because they are my nephews and my kids are suffering also - my kids are missing out on growing up with their cousins, my kids are missing out on their aunty.

Secondly, three weeks ago my sister decided (don't know how hard she thought, mind you?) to kick her husband of 9 years out. Okay I know that this is her choice but she won't explain why she made her choice. Now I know that he is not a wife beater, not abusive emotionally or physically, adores her and their four boys (under 11), works full time, helps around the house, cooks, does washing - what more can I say? All she is saying is "because I wanted too!" aaarrrrgggghhhhh

Thirdly, I thought I would do the right thing as a sister (even though quite estranged) and visit her, offer my support and just to show her I was there. So Sunday morning we called in unannounced armed with a huge bunch of flowers and a very nice support card only to end up arguing due to certain circumstances I just wish I had not seen. The boys were with Jamie so I knew she should have been alone ~ she wasn't. "He" was there and in her bedroom. But although what I saw didn’t look good she continued to tell me “nothing was going on”, “why doesn’t anyone believe what I am saying?” and all the time I stood there looking at her I didn’t vocally judge her or pass comment but stood there actually thinking that she just out rightly thinks that I am stupid enough to believe her.

Fourthly, I had to tell my mam what I had witnessed. I knew that I couldn’t not tell her. And of course, with her anger and disbelief of the situation (not with what I had told her) she had to then speak to my sister. After my sister speaking to my mam and having a humdinger it was my turn to be in the firing line (which I expected and was just waiting for). She rang me enraged and we had a massive argument on the phone - which I am sure that all my neighbours would have heard. She accused my mother and I of “having nothing better to do than to talk about her behind her back” to which I replied “we have no option as you obviously don’t want to confide in us” and then I continued with a few more home truths, I am sure that she didn’t really want to hear.

Fiftly, Noel tripped/slipped on Monday night landing on his back and cracking a vertebrae and is suffering from huge swelling, bruising, pain and of course struggling to walk or get comfortable. I spent the last two days at home with him, which also included a six-hour stint at the emergency department making sure he really was okay and also having the required x-rays.

Sixthly, I had to get my BP checked yesterday and after 22 weeks of juggling tablets, trying new medications and finally getting my BP "perfect" it has gone up again. Not majorily but up. I had expected it too. I even told Noel that I didn't want to have my BP checked. Now instead of going every four weeks I am back to a fortnightly appointment.

Needless to say that, my world has really been rocked this last few days more than it ever has before (with the exception of the death of my father, of course). I don’t know what my feelings are, what my thoughts are, what I should be doing or even if there is anything I can do to help/change the situation. I have cried, I have screamed, I have yelled, I have sat in silence and now I am exhausted physically, mentally and more then ever emotionally.

I am sure that in time everything will right itself and that I just have to ride the storm.

What's going on with our Claire???

Life is just not right and definately at times not fair!

I have been holding off on posting anything about this topic purely because of my lack of knowledge on the subject but it is really bothering me.

My sister, Claire and her husband Jamie have seperated although not everyone knows. It has been several weeks now. After 9 years of marriage and 4 children apparently "it's just not working anymore" and hasn't been for a long while. This saddens me.

Not only I have always look upon my sister, her lifestyle and her family with jealousy and admiration but due to the fact that Claire and I aren't as close as normal sisters should be I had no idea of what was really going on.

Seven years younger than me, and for what I saw I always thought she was happy with her lifestyle. She was young when she met Jamie, I think around 16 but they have been together ever since. As I mentioned she has 4 young boys (Kyle 10, Stuart 8, Wesley 5 and Angus 2) which are her world, she has a house, a social network, involvement in the school and kinder, positions on severeal committees, a candle business (party plan), morning and afternoon teas with friends and a most of all a husband that actually adores her. Obviously what I see isn't the same as what she does.

I haven't caught up with her yet and it is hard enough getting to talk to her on the phone. When we do speak she's more interested in what is happening with me and my family while I am trying to find out what is happening with her. Needless to say our conversations are going around in circles.

.

I really want to visit her but not sure of how the reception will be. Selfishly, I don't think I could emotionally handle her lack of sisterly love at the moment. I have battled many demons regarding my relationship with my sister and have always blamed it on something I have done or the person that I am. Finally, with the help of Noel, my mam and my close friends, I am coming to realise that maybe it's not me, maybe it's not my fault but in all truth although I am nearly okay with it I am not 100% convinced as yet. Maybe it's all that she has been going through these last few years is why we don't have a sister to sister relationship? Who knows?

.

She is not very forthcoming with information about this situation to me or with anyone else for that fact (actually she is not a very forthcoming person at any time). To be honest what she is saying isn't really making that much sense or providing any genuine reasoning behind her decision. That worries me a lot as I am a firm believer that "because" is not an answer to a question if you know what I mean. There needs to be something solid, some reason why she has decided to end her relationship, an icident or an issue that is leading her to turn not only her life upside down but the life of her husband and their children. Don't get me wrong, I will support her depending of course on some certain circumstances but she needs to be honest and open with me.

.

Although our relationship (for that reason I am not aware of?) has been distant and almost non-existent I don't want her to think she has to do this on her own. I want her to know that I am here for her, that we are all here for her and that we love her no matter what her decision is.

.

The only thing I am praying for is that she does make the right decision in the long run....

A weekend full of love and laughter...

Another weekend that went as quickly as it came.....
.

On Saturday it was Valentines Day and we celebrated it just like any "married" couple would... with the kids. This was our choice as at the moment with all the devastation and sorrow surrounding us it was good to be together as a family. The saddness is so strong that one cannot help but hug your family, kiss them and definately cwch up with them.
.
.

Normally, Noel and I do not put any emphasis on Valentines Day but like I said we made sure that the LOVE was definately in the house this year. So we decoarated the dining table, planned a nice meal and had a surprise or two up our sleeves for the kids.
.


Dinner started with a Mixed Seafood Platter and Noel's Chilli and Ginger Scallops! Yum what a way to begin the feast!
.

Then we went up to the Carnival which was quite close to us at the local shopping centre. After convincing Oliver to go on the Cha Cha we couldn't get him off. As we had set off up there late we were able to go on 3 rides - first the Cha Cha, then the Dodgem Cars (where we all drove our own cars - Alex thought it was ace and caused a lot of bumping when she got the hang of it!!) and then it was back on the Cha Cha! Needless to say I was feeling quick ill in the tummy by the time we got off.
.

Back home for a superbly cooked Veal cutlet with a Bacon and Mushroom Sauce - many thanks to the Man of the House.
.

It was then definately time to relax, we all watched a movie called Forbidden Kingdom whilst eating chocolate love hearts!!
.

Needless to say - Sunday was a day of rest.....

The devastation continues......

Can you imagine this?

This is a photograph that was taken looking north from Doncaster over at the mountain ranges towards Whittlesea and King Lake areas. Just the intensity of the fire in the dusk is enough to send shivers up my spine and bring on the goosebumps.

Stories of triumph and survival are forthcoming which is proving that miracles can happen. People have been found after days of hiding out in what can only be described as hell on earth. Families are being reunited with loved ones and the nation as a whole is coming together and providing so much in the way of donations, both money and material items.

However it's not just us humans that are affected, its all the wildlife not to mention the pets, that don't have the resources that we do.

Many people have opened up their homes as wildlife shelters, which again is a wonderful thing to do in itself.

These "wild" animals are making their way into peoples homes just in search of water and something to cool off in! Amazing really as normally we would only get a chance sighting when driving through the bush or at a zoo/sanctuary.

But its the stories of loss that are consuming us as a nation. As I mentioned a few days ago, there was fears that some of the fire outbreaks were delibrately lit only to have it confirmed this morning that the Churchill and Marysville fires were the work of arsonists! How can someone do this? How can someone unleash such carnage and devastion on innocent people and their families?

I can only imagine that there will never be the correct words spoken to explain these last few days....

What a weekend ... both good and bad!

What can I say or where do I start?

It's Monday and I am back at work after a "great weekend" on a personal level but on an emotional level a "devastating" weekend.

I am sitting here at work listening to the radio, listening to what one could only describe as horrific and unimaginable to the average person. I cannot even begin to imagine what the people living in the fire stricken areas are going through and to be honest, wouldn't even know where to begin.

Currently Victoria is living through what has been recorded as our worst bushfire on record in modern history.

The current loss of life stands at 108 with many people still missing, presumed dead. Men, woman and children among that figure.

Complete towns being wiped out by the raging flames which fire fighters and volunteers are struggling to control. Towns that we have driven through, stopped and purchased things at especially when we are out in the 4WD.

My thoughts, wishes and prayers are with all those touched/affected by the bushfires. My heart reaches out to these people, families loosing their properties and all their belongings, farmers losing all their crops and livestock, basically their whole worlds. Not to mention all the family pets that have also been killed by the fires.

However the thing I find the saddest to comprehend is that there is suspicion that some or many of the fires have been deliberately lit. How could anyone in their right minds consider doing such a inhuman thing as lighting a fire especially during our summer, which has been unbelievably hot and humid this year? If caught, the monster or monsters face a minimum of 15 years just for lighting the fires, but this would undoubtedly increase due to all of the lives lose - all of the "MURDER".

Driving to work this morning, the reality of it hit home. The area near where I work was also afftected and is now black in places and at 8am this morning still smoldering here and there. The residents surrounding the quarry actually took refuge inside the open space of the quarry, bringing family, belongings, pets and even horses to the safe haven. Both these photos are at the end of the street where I work.... sad isn't it. Even at 4.30pm on Monday afternoon the CFA were still dousing small fires.


My supervisor at work, Rod, isn't at work today. He has spent the whole weekend facing the fires as he is a CFA Volunteer. I spoke to him yesterday, and although tired he was okay but I must say it was really good to hear his voice. He has rung into work again today so thankfully all is still well with him. From what I understand he is actually fighting the fire that is threatening the town where he lives. Also my boss is on edge listening to the radio as fire is threatening area near his house.

As for us, besides watching many news broadcasts we did manage to have a good family weekend. Saturday night we went to Julien and Deb's house for "thankyou for helping us move" bbq. It was a good night and as it was such a hot day, it was really nice not to have to cook. Saying that I did make two salads, a Roast Pumpkin Salad and Crunchy Asian Salad, but they were definately not too difficult. The kids had lots of fun as there was quite a few kids there. We left quite late, probably too early if you ask Noel, but I worked in the morning and was very tired.

Sunday was just a day at home, doing the usual cleaning etc but also did quite a lot of cooking. There was a fair amount of laughter even though having the tv on in the background added a touch of sadness to the air. The kids played on the computer - god only knows what games they have downloaded this time! Sunday dinner was Peking Duck and yes we actually cooked the duck ourselves. Quite fiddly and to be honest, easier to buy in Springvale. Alex and I also made Raspberry Brownie Slice, which I think everyone enjoyed, and I know the kids were thrilled at the prospect of actually taking cake to school for morning tea (trust me that's a rare event in itself!)

As I said my thoughts are with all the fire-affected families.......

Irresistable......

.

Who could resist these two??? I know that I cannot!! But I am being a little one-sided I think.

.

These photo's were taken down at the Balnarring Picnic Races on Australia Day (Jan 26th). Thankfully the weather was nice but not as hot as it was the days to follow.... reaching +40 deg C is not my kind of a joke!!
.
I cannot believe my little man is now 10 turning 11 in March. He is in his final year of primary (junior) school and very cheeky but not as cheeky as his sister! It's a strange time at the moment as he is growing. There is that hint of modesty, you know "mam don't look" or closing the bedroom door to get changed, putting on deoderant before getting dressed and then there is the lovingness and innocence of him still being a child. He is begrudgingly playing U11's football this year, but I am not sure if he doesn't want to play or it's the fear of being able to tackle that's worrying him. I believe it to be the later but I am sure he will confide in either Noel or myself soon. He has a newfound love of tennis and wants to do that, so that's an option to look into I suppose.

.
Alex on the other hand will be turning 7 in March but one, would at times, think she has been here before or a hell of a lot older!! She is nothing short of being a little chatterbox, even talks and giggles in her sleep. She is starting to develop a love of cooking.. definately follows in mine and Noel's footsteps and forever wants to help out around the house (another good thing!) Alex will also be playing junior football as well this year in the U9's and I think secretly she is excited at the whole concept though she denies it. She has done 3 years of Auskick and excelled.
.
Overall it should be an exciting year ahead for them and for us as parents.....

All is good.....

My cherubs survived their first day back at school!! I never thought there was going to be an issue yesterday but as a mam I suppose there is always that little bit of worry for them.

Alex loves Mrs M and the thrill of being a "big girl" at school now being in the middle levels. She came home and explained what the subject they are focussing on this term and that is Australia. Then she went on to tell us in detail everything else she did for the day.

Oliver, on the otherhand, when asked "how his first day was?" replied "good" and that was it! In typical Oliver fashion as he isn't that fond of school. A few more questions later a little more information was released but it was like pulling teeth. But we found out that he likes his new teacher so that is a start. I don't think he was too impressed with having homework on his first day though!

We'll have to see what they say when they get home tonight!

Back to school and back to ROUTINE!

Today is the first day at school for my two little darlin's with one, Alex of course, being excited and awake, teeth brushed, hair brushed, bag packed and asking if it was time to leave all by 6.30am while the other, Oliver, stayed in bed and if he could that is where he would have stayed.

.

Both have new teachers and are in new levels. Alex is in Grade 3 and has Mrs M, who Oliver had for both Grade 3 & 4 so I am sure she will find the difference between the two of them refreshing! It's Grade 6 for Oliver this year and he has Ms V. He was moved over to the other 5/6 grade, I am usure as to why, but he is happy with the change. Maybe the change will be as good as a holiday for him??

.

As for me I revelled in the fact that today was the first day of being back into ROUTINE. I love routine. We work better with routine. So this morning 5.30am the alarm went off (which allowed me a few minutes of lying there gathering my thoughts) then it was like clockwork. Sandwiches made for all four of us, lunchboxes packed, uniforms ready and waiting for bodies, showers had, school bags and my bag packed, all done and out the door by 6.55am! The children can be left at Before School Care at 7am which is great as I start work at 8am.

.

Either Noel or myself will pick them up from school depending on work commitments, etc, tonight Noel will pick them up. For me Monday's is Weight Watchers and I know this week I have a doctors appointment at 5pm also (just to check my BP).

.

Normally the kids do their homework when we get in - depending on who has picked them up it can be anywhere between 4.30pm and 5.30pm by the time we walk through the front door. There is no TV or playstation during the school week. The evening routine is just as frantic as the morning and we try in hope to get dinner on the table by no later than 6.30pm, thankfully Noel loves to cook also so that is a great help. If I am running late he will start getting things ready. So needless to say weeknight dinners need to be quick and easy. Then after dinner it's shower and bed by 8.30pm but 8pm if they want to read a book etc.

.

Now I know that it doesn't sound all that exciting especially for the kids but come Friday night the weekends are all about them. As most of you know I normally work on Saturday morning but honestly, this gives Noel one 0n one time with them, which he doesn't get when he is chin deep in overtime or night shift. We try to make the weekends fun and do something that interests them. And of course we try to catch up with our family and friends.

.

So there you have it - the happenings of the House of Murray. Busy times but fun times and my beloved ROUTINE...

Well we have been quite busy.......

Wow cannot believe that I haven't posted here for a few days.... have you missed us? LOL!! We have been quite busy as a family as you will see and to be honest none of us have really been near the computer at all.

Saturday we babysat Taila and Mitchell, our friend's children. They were moving house, Noel helped with the actual move but I thought it would be really helpful to have the kids overnight to give them a little more freedom to sort out the boxes etc. I love moving house but it such a stressful time really. Anyway several DVD's later we had Homemade Pies with Wedges for dinner..... all the kids excited by this idea, especially when I told them they could make up their own pie!

Sunday, started with Lemonade Pancakes being requested by our kids, which was great as budding chef Alex taught Taila how to make them - yes they really are that easy. These went down a treat, infact neither Noel or myself got one and ended up having poached eggs on toast instead! The kids were picked up early afternoon so for the rest of the day we just enjoyed ourselves as a family of four, which was really nice. We did have Chinese Roast Pork for dinner to celebrate Chinese New Year... served with a salad and rice paper we made our own rice paper rolls. YUM! A nice easy dish to prepare and the kids love making their dinner up themselves.

Monday was a day at the Picnic Races in Balnarring and also Australia Day. Needless to say, as usual, it was a food fest even though only six of us went this meeting. We took a bbq chicken, salad and some bread rolls. Noel's mam brought party pies and sausage rolls. I also made a huge platter of fruit so that was nice and refreshing.

Tuesday (Noel and I both had a RDO) was meant to be relaxing but overall turned out to be not only a busy day but a warm one. In fact it was the start of our heatwave that we are having here in Victoria. I cannot believe that it was 43 deg C yesterday, 43 deg C today and forecast much the same for tomorrow. We picked up the kids school books which I must say cost us almost $600, did a little bit of grocery shopping and then got the dent in my car bumper assessed by the panel beaters. My car is now booked in to be repaired on March 2nd and will be in the panel beaters for two days.... two days without my car all because some idiot decided to hit my stationery vehicle (with my hazard lights on I must add) while driving with her dog jumping around in her car!! Not happy at all!!

I have spoken to Mam a few times since she left - I miss her like crazy and I am really glad (and grateful) that she is planning to come to Melbourne in April for Noel's 40th birthday. I am planning a party which will probably be at home and more than likely a spit roast. Hopefully I will be able to round up a few of his older friends that he hasn't seen for awhile to surprise him with but we will see. I do however know that I need to pull my finger out and start organising it!

The house is quiet again at the moment as the kids have both gone to Noel's parents for the last few days of the school holidays. School goes back on Monday and I must say I am so looking forward to getting back into our normal routine. Plus I hate having to farm the kids out left, right and centre due to both of us working. But what can we do? It's the government's fault.. I mean we are entitled to 4 week's paid holiday leave per year but the kids get 12 weeks off school?? Go figure!!

Enough rabbiting on ...... more adventures to go and have!

A Dash of Flavour.... what the heck is that?

Okay confession time!! (Don't panic some of you already know where this is going!)

So here it is.... I have another blog to my name - A Dash of Flavour. I was a little worried about everyone knowing at first as I hadn't completely finished setting it up although I had started posting to it and considered it "still under construction" BUT then again I suppose a blog is always a work in progress, right?

Don't get me wrong it was always my intention to eventually share my new blog address and I actually have had it listed for awhile now with all of the other House of Murray blogs for those who were intrigued but I had never officially told anyone or published the link outside of the blogging community. I have once or twice on my other blogs which may have been overlooked!

Thankfully someone curious enough to investigate my other blogs gave me some great feedback. The feedback was within another forum's walls, which gave me enough confidence in my little project to prompt me that it was time to share it properly and with everyone.

Besides my obvious love of blogging my other passion is cooking. In fact the whole family love cooking. So that's what A Dash of Flavour is all about - our adventures in the kitchen, food, cooking, helpful hints, etc. I have decided that there will be nothing else besides culinary posts - no weight loss stories, or family happenings unless it relates to the meal - let's face it I have blogs for those already. Honestly I hope you enjoy it, I must say I have been excited about this blog since I decided to make it (I have always wanted to write a cookbook so I guess this is a start). Please feel free to give me any feedback, comments and/or advice if you wish to... I would appreciate that.

Who know's you may even try one or two of the recipes....

Saying goodbyes....

I hate the fact that Mam lives in Queensland only because I hate saying goodbye. There is never a brave or strong way to say it.... even trying as hard as I can there is still always a tear or two or at least 5 minutes blubbering in the car.

This morning was no different!! After stalling to leave for work as long as I could I had to leave. By this time I had said to myself so many times to keep happy, but that last cuddle and expressing my thanks once again reduced me to tears, Mam to tears and even Alex who had got up to wave me goodbye.

Mam is returning to Claire's today and she will be there now until she leaves on Wednesday. Unfortunately due to the situation with Claire it means that I won't see Mam again before she leaves (incidently I spoke to Claire yesterday and told her I want this fued thingy to stop - she said she would call me soon!)

So the house will once again be quiet tonight.... the kids are back with Mam and Dad for another week of school holidays and they will return on Friday night at this stage. Bring back school I say (the kids wouldn't agree) and bring back our normality!!

Time to get myself more organised!

Now that we have all settled into the New Year well and truly it's time to get me and my household more organised especially on the home maintenance front. Currently with working full time I tend to spend my time off Saturday afternoons and Sundays CLEANING! Honestly there is no-one in the house for a minimum of 8 hours each weekday and yet it looks like a cyclone has gone through the place!!

Considering the fact that a cyclone cannot be present only inside one person house in the street there must be another explanation... I know! The house is infested with "messy fairies". Geez that's about as believable as the cyclone. LOL!!

Seriously, please don't misjudge completely. We don't live in a pigsty or what could resemble a landfill site infact we do keep the place quite respectable. On the surface everything looks normal BUT with my eyes and knowing what goes on behind closed doors I honestly believe that we as a family just need to get into more of a routine and be more responsible to the mess surrounding us and yes that means ALL of us, me, hubby and you two kids as well!!

As I said we aren't slobs or lazy just time deficient considering we are out the door by 7 in the morning and often not home before 5pm. Then its cooking and eating dinner, ensuring homework is done, readers are read, children are bathed, put to bed, then theres the dishes, a load of washing here and there before collapsing into bed ourselves. There has to be an easier way!! And that's without considering hiring a cleaner! Get that idea right out of your head Joanne.

I must say I didn't just come up with this brain wave all by myself. Infact I will be totally honest and say that I have been reading another blog which is dedicated to just this topic. The hyper homemaker is just as the name suggests and very detailed. It intrigued me when I started reading it and must say has actually started to make me think differently about the way I do things (which while we are being honest it is normally the easiest and the quickest way that's for sure).

I want my weekends to be about family, not disinfectant, mops and vacuuming. I want to know that my kids had a great weekend instead of watching tv or planning their DS' because I am busy doing chores.

That's it - it's time for a change! AND NOW!!

Quietness in the house can sometimes be sooo wrong!

I am missing my kids.. I am missing the noise, the laughter, the squabbling, the questions especially from Alex, the mess, the yelling but most of all I am just missing not having them near me. The house has been too quiet this week without having them at home. They will be with their grandparents until Friday afternoon when Noel will pick them up on the way home from work.

Not hearing from them at all this week lets me know that they are having fun especially being taken to Halls Gap for a few days. And I am guessing that they have been well behaved as we haven't heard from Mam and Dad either!!

They idolise their grandparents and I am really glad that they have a strong bond with them. Mam and dad also cherish them, as do Sean, Vicky and Clare. In fact they have a closeness with all members of Noel's family which I am really proud of because they don't have a lot of it from my side of the family, none of us do!

Don't get me wrong, they adore Grandma as well when she visits and this year I need to help them to cement that bond a little stonger. I don't know what steps I will take at the moment but I do want to ensure that their relationship blooms more each each. But while we are speaking of relationships -a relationship that is destined to be distant is that with their aunty Claire and her boys, their cousins. As upsetting as it is, she and her family are the ones that miss out.

When questioned why by the children, I used to say she is busy or maybe next week but I have stopped hiding things from my kids and stopped making excuses, I have explained that I have tried to make the situation better and they know that it's NOT their fault either. Even my Mam cannot understand what the problem is or where it all went wrong. I think the main thing my children need to know is that they are loved by me, Noel, their grandparents, and the other important people who are currently in their lives.

I actually realised a while ago that I have wasted way too much time on wishing my sister would actually be my sister. And with all that's happening around me it's just another thing that I really don't have time to worry about anymore.

Let's face it - the world is still going to spin around, I am still going to get old and die but it's what I do with my time left that is important!!

D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final........

Unlike Dusty Springfield's song Clare's divorce doesn't become final today but after an hour and a half at the law courts all the formal paperwork has been lodged and in 28 days her marriage to Rob will be annulled FINALLY!!

Their marriage has been over for several years now due various reasons but mainly due to his constant abuse of illegal drugs and basically "his care for nothing" attitude while they were together. He had us all fooled in the beginning, very charming, casual, family orientated and appearing to be so in love with Clare, having a good job with a financial institution, a good head on his shoulders only to prove over time and even more so recently that he really was a smooth talking drug addict, bottom line a real "no hoper!"

I am really proud of Clare for taking the necessary steps to finally get this monkey off her back and sever ties connecting her with him and the arsehole he has become. The next 28 days wil drag on but Clare has a lifetime ahead of her and deserves to find that someone special.


AND YES CLARE - YOU DO!!

Mongolian Hot Pot and 10 pin bowling.... a busy but good weekend!

Okay so I find myself once more sitting here in disbelief that is Monday AGAIN and that another weekend is over. Overall it was a good weekend, not overly flat out but enough to say that I am feeling tired this morning.

Friday night the kids tried out the pie maker and after eating 2 pies each I believe they have deemed it a success and a very welcome appliance in our house! Noel, Mam and myself had a chinese dish, we have named "nice chicken" which has a sauce of hoisin and cayenne pepper. A unique taste and the hotter the better according to most who try it.

Saturday Mam came to work with me, I was thankful of that as it was dead and good to have someone to talk to - saying that we managed to watch 2 movies also! Next stop was the Dandenong Market where we met Noel and the kids. Nothing to adventurous there except a lot of people, some with not much deoderant on especially with it being warm...yuk! We bought some fish, prawns and beef for the Mongolian Hot Pot dinner we had planned.

Dinner was ACE! As usual we all enjoyed the Mongolian Hot Pot (or Steamboat as it's often called also). Mam was in her element as she hasn't had one quite some time. We don't have the Hot Pot that often as it does take quite some preparation and there is always enough food to feed an army. Needless to say we had it for dinner last night also (and there is still more left over!!)

I will post some photo's tonight when I get home.

Sunday morning Mam and I popped down to Lars and Pips house. It was beautiful and huge. It's the first time either of us had been there. It was good to see them again even though it was only a short visit. However I do feel guilty for not making more of an effort each year to keep in contact with them. I only make the effort when Mam is in Melbourne and seriously that isn't good enough. We emigrated on the same ship as them in 1973 so they have known me all my life. They are from Finland whereas we are from Wales but they are like family, in fact they have been better to us than our real family has over the years!

In the afternoon we went 10 pin bowling at Cranbourne. We played two games, which was fun and great to be actually doing something with the kids. Grandma enjoyed it too and really got into it. I have decided that we don't do enough "fun" things with the kids. Don't get me wrong, we do a lot of things together but I don't thing we do enough kid fun things, if you can understand that? Must get back to focussing on them while they are still young enough to have fun with their Mam and Dad!

Back at work today for another week. The kids are off to Halls Gap with Nana and Grandad, we will get them back on Friday night and Mam is off to Claire's for the week and I will pick her up on Friday.

Needless to say the house will be very quiet tonight, that's for sure!!

There IS more to life!

Selfishly I have been focusing on what I now consider to be petty problems.

Unlike a work colleague of mine. His wife, a wonderful lady, has been diagnosed with primary breast cancer and also secondary cancers in various parts of her body. Yesterday I was informed the diagnosis is 6 - 12 months and that's with treatment.

My heart and thoughts go out to Fred, Wendy and their family.

Needless to say I have spent the last 24 hours really reassessing the way I look at life. The way I focus too much on negative aspects and too much on things I have no control over.

Okay so my sister doesn't want to have anything to do with me, that's her problem - right? Why should it stop me getting on with my life? Why should I spend hours wondering why when she probably doesn't even give it a second thought?

Okay so I am fat! Actually I am overweight. Maybe I need to focus on changing my lifestyle, my food patterns and my outlook rather than dwelling in self pity.

Enough is enough!!

I have to get back to my little part of this world. My special position in my family, The Murray family. I need to enjoy every minute I can with Oliver, Alex, Noel and my Mam, my wonderful Mam and Dad (in-laws), brother in-law Sean, his family and my sister Clare (we dropped the in-law tag a long time ago).

Life is definitely too short and unfortunately if can be over in an instance - you only have to watch the news for proof of that!!

Frankly I rather that I hadn't.....

As much as I shouldn't say this but frankly I rather that I hadn't recieved her phonecall yesterday. My sister rang me to wish me happy birthday around 6pm last night. Honestly it was like pulling teeth talking to her and from the minute she said hello I knew that she had rang out of doing the right thing and not particularly because she really wanted to give me her birthday wishes. Her voice had no expression, no enthusiasm, nothing!! Even claiming that she didn't know where I was working yesterday or what I was doing so that's why she waited until 6pm.... HELLO I do own a mobile!!

Other than that my birthday was good (even including working which was quiet and boring). The kids made me some beautiful cards - its the best feeling being told "you are the best Mam in the world". Even though I strictly told Noel that a nice card is all I wanted, he and the kids spoiled me. In he walked with a pretty bunch of flowers, then the kids gave me two bottles of chardonnay (don't know how they bought them lol!!), a Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker and a powerball ticket with some scratchies also. Nothing on the scratchies and I am guessing as Noel hasn't rung me yet there will be nothing on the powerball ticket either... oh well I suppose we will just have to keep living on love!!

Then it was out for dinner at the RSL... and I was determined to order wisely and not give into my tummy! And it work. I chose the Veal Rib Eye with mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables of the menu but ordered the Veal Rib Eye with normal potatoes and steamed vegetables.... GO GIRL!! And it was yummy even though I did not eat all the potatoes anyway. Everyone else enjoyed their meals also. Noel tried the veal and to his surprise actually enjoyed it and will possibly let me buy/cook some now. Apparently I cooked a dish with veal once before that he didn't enjoy and that's why he has never liked veal..... hhhhmmm he tells me now?

More pressies for which I must say I was truly spoiled by Mam and Dad. Blown away infact! Now to be totally honest Noel had told me that he mentioned to Mam that I wanted a new Pyrex Jug (yes a really personal pressie I know but that's what I wanted!!) so that's what I expected. To my disbelief not only did I they give me 1 Pyrex jug BUT I got 4!! ACE all different sizes from a small 1 cup jug to a huge 8 cup jug!! OMG I was in Pyrex jug heaven!!

Oh well it's back to normal today and all the celebrations are over as afterall today I am 38 years and 1 day old!

Happy birthday to.....

Cannot believe that it's my birthday already, meaning that 8 days have already flown passed this year!! Being at work on your birthday sucks especially when it's dead quiet but it's paying those damn bills, right?

So far we haven't done a great deal as far as school holidays etc go but both Noel and I came back to work on Monday.

My Mam is babysitting the kids for us this week and so far they all seem to be having a ball. Tuesday they all went to the beach and saw the sand sculptures and "The Blessing of the Waters" by the Greek Community. Didn't know that was on but it added an extra element to the day for mam and the kids. They all got sunburnt!! BIG TIME!! I think they will be spending today at home, just like yesterday in recovery mode!!

Sunday we did go to the races and that was great fun. It was all the family as usual which was great and good to see to see Sean and Vicky again. Christian, being older this year, was fascinated by the horses and it was good to see face his face when the horses were near our area. (Being a member we got to set up our area right next to the race track, so brilliant view of all the races.)

Here is Mam and Sharon relaxing and from the look of it studying the form guide. Some of the races are hard to pick especially when there can be four horse and the TAB is only paying 1st and 2nd! We have even witness a two horse race... can you believe that? Only at Balnarring!! (It was a beautiful day, not too hot and thankfully not raining - somewhat hard to believe for Melbourne!!)

Relaxing inbetween races is some more of the family. Sean (white t-shirt), Mam and Dad, Christian, Oliver and Tom are keeping in the shade and having something to eat. One good thing about the races is we are never short of food or maybe that's a bad thing, everyone brings something to share so we don't have to buy food from the overpriced food vendors down there. This year we took our weber and had some lovely roast lamb with salad and bread rolls, not to mention dips and nibbles, and satay skewers. As I said lots of food!!

Of course there are no photo's of me (I think Mam might have taken one but we will leave that on her camera ... I like to hide behind the camera but who know's maybe one day I will come out from behind it!! LOL!!

But I do have this wonderful photo of my cheekyboy.... Oli!!

Off out for dinner tonight to the RSL with Noel, the kids and our parents. I didn't want a second "birthday" event but I had no say in it really!! It should be a good night and hopefully we will all get a good meal like we normally do, mind you saying that I have to make a good choice food wise! Especially now I am back on my diet - I must be good!

At this point in time nothing major has been planned for the rest of the week or the weekend. But then again, knowing us, things will change - as they always do...

A few days into 2009 and all is well.

After surviving what turned into a huge New Years Party at our house, finishing at 3am I might add, all has quietened down and we are regaining what some would imagine to be normality. HA!!

The house is starting to resemble a home not a party zone with the Christmas Decoration due to come down on the 6th of January (as I said before that's our Christmas tradition) so only a few more days before they are all locked away for another 11 and a half months. I find taking the decorations down quite sad as I just love the thought of Christmas but I make myself feel better by telling me that I have another 11 months to plan the next Christmas for the family to share.

Sean and Vicky came to pick up Clare (she has stayed since New Years Eve and that has been ace). It was sad to see her leave knowing that she was flying back to Sydney today and we wouldn't see her again for awhile. Clare is a fantastic person to be around. Bubbly, funny and so spontaneous. A good drinking buddy also.... OMG did we all drink these last few days! But more importantly she's a unreal sister... we have both dropped the "sister-in-law" tag and just refer to each other as sisters.... and yes if you haven't guessed she makes me feel like a special person.

Mam is still here - now newly nicknamed "Ever-ready" as she is just always on the go and forever pottering. I think we will have to nail or tie her down just to get her to relax but it is still wonderful to have her here (even if we have had several words due to my selfishness). I am going to miss her terribly when she eventually goes back on the 21st January. She will be with us most of the time until then as she has put her hand up to babysit Oliver and Alex while Noel and I go back to work on the 5th.

Today we are all getting ready for the Balnarring Picnic Races tomorrow. Another huge day but it will be enjoyed as it is every year. Most of the family are going and this year we are taking the weber and cooking a leg of lamb to have with salads etc. There is always a beavy of food, normally too much, but it is such a wonderful day and the kids have a ball. Christian will be old enough to understand the horses this year as he was only a baby last year and now that he is walking I am sure tomorrow will be an interesting day for us all keeping an eye on him. We get to the Races early so we can get a really good possy and set up our shelters etc. It is a great day but a huge effort getting everything organised. What do they say - no pain no gain?

Oliver and Alex are having their first sleep over for the year tonight. They are off to Tom and Sharon's. As Sharon is also coming to the Races she will bring the kids down with her. Hopefully they will be good for Sharon and not turn into prize dickheads.... Noel will be reading them the riot act before we take them up there. They get so excited going somewhere else as normally, with us being the entertainers, we have everyone come to our house and that includes the kids friends. Must make an effort to change that this year.....

Oh well better fly as there really is a lot to do.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I know I am a little early but I doubt that I will get back on this side of 2009, so with this....

We would like to wish all of our Family and Friends

a very Happy New Year.

May you have a wonderful

time seeing in 2009,

don't wake up too early

or with a headache

but more importantly are

safe and with

us on January the 1st!!

Thankyou all for supporting us,

sharing friendship and

special times,

sharing our laughter and our tears

(especially mine).

May 2009 be a prosperous and

enjoyable year for one and all...

Love always and best wishes....

Noel, Jo, Oliver and Alex xxx

Christmas Day is over but the celebrations will continue....

I am sitting here typing this while my Mam and sister in law, Clare, have just opened there first bottle of wine for the day! I, however, need to wait a little longer before partaking in the best type of grape juice!! hahaha

As for yesterday, all DID go without a hitch!! It actually makes you sit back and wonder what all the worry was about beforehand.

The kids decided that their excitment couldn't wait until after 6am and that's when they woke us up! Alex was really happy that Santa had been but Oliver wasn't that happy as there was no table tennis table to be seen. He had his heart set on getting on and because it wasn't next to the Christmas tree in the loungeroom he had a dark cloud over his head... that was until he went outside and saw one under the verandah!!

I was spoiled by my family this year. Reduced to tears by their cards and gifts - I received a Galialo Thermometre, a toe ring, a necklace and an amazing quilt cover!! Wow - OMG I was very surprise at the thought that had gone into the present process this year.

Then it was all hands on deck to put the finishing touches to lunch, preparing the rest of the entree and the vegetables etc. We at one stage were surprised that we were ahead of ourselves and had time to have a quiet drink before the rest of the family arrived. And take photo's of our table before everyone sat down....

To my amazement, I must say... everyone arrived almost on time (due to the traffic on the freeway) and we sat down pretty much on time. We made sure everyone stayed inside until everyone was here just so our decorated area was a surprise to everyone all at once. Of course Mam, Noel and I wanted to see everyone's faces.. and I do believe they were amazed.
The fairies and the snowflakes just looked absolutely gorgeous glittering in the sunlight and the red and silver tinsel really complemented them.

Everyone sat down and the food fest began... I printed off a menu, tied it with red and silver ribbon for everyone to read whilst waiting for the entrees to be served with a thank you message at the bottom... it really was quite cheezy but something I wanted to do. Everyone liked them anyway. So overall, lunch was well received and Noel, Mam and I were happy with our efforts.


More presents after the feast - all children were definately spoiled from all sides. I couldn't believe some of the gifts that they received. And to top it off, Noel and I received Nigella Lawson's Christmas cookbook off Sharon as a thank you for Christmas Day and for all of the year... I am definately in my element when reading a cookbook! Thanks Sharon - this last year has definately been a pleasure having both you and Tom in our lives.

Sean and Vicky had to go off to Vicky's family for dinner. Personally, I couldn't eat another meal especially after the lunch we had so I did not envy the mere thought of it at all. Sharon, after a little snooze on the couch, went home with Tom and I hope that they both truly had a great time.

Not long after the Abba Sing Star (Alex's present) was opened and that was the start of the party. Alex, Mam, Clare, Mam and even Dad got into the act and belted out a few ABBA songs before Mam and Dad left as they are taking the caravan down to Port Fairy for Sean and Vicky's holiday. The rest of us then sang our hearts out and also played Guitar Hero (Oliver's present) until the wee wee wee hours of the morning. A few people surrounding me are not feeling the best but I suppose it just goes to show that a good time was had by one and all......

As usual too much food but lots of yummy leftovers. Today is quite quiet in comparision to yesterday for which most of us are glad. Noel and Alex have taken Clare up to one of her friends' houses, Mam is watching a Barbara Streisand DVD that she got for Christmas, Oliver is trying to work out who Barbara Streisand is, and I have to admit, I am now sipping on a Champagne Cocktail... well it is the Festive Season after all!!!

My husband has just returned from dropping Clare off and he is armed with two crayfish... so it looks like it's seafood for lunch!! OMG life is just soooooo hard!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all............

Was my weekend better than Christmas? Nearly!!

I had such a wonderful weekend that it was nearly better than Christmas itself.

After picking Mam up from outside my sister's house (I didn't want to go inside so that was my choice) we went home where the kids just greeted Grandma with cuddles and excited chatter. It was wonderful to see all three faces beaming with love and joy. I quickly showed Mam around our new house as this was her first visit since the move, kindly asking her to put her blinkers on as it was quite a mess!! Not that she was bothered but I did explain that I wasn't expecting her and she understood.

Sharon was already at our house as we we had planned to go shopping. So quickly Mam and I got ready and off the 3 ladies went to battle Frankston. Surprisingly there wasn't really a battle. In actual fact we have found the shops quiet all weekend.

Mam came to work with me on Saturday morning, which for some strange reason she enjoys. I enjoy her company too, selfishly it's just the two of us and we can chat, etc. Saturday morning's mission was to wrap the presents we had already purchased to save one job on Christmas eve. That accomplished (thanks to Mam - you are a trooper!! MWAH!!) we closed the weighbridge and went down to the office where we were having my work breakup. There was a pig on a spit (a full pig) and it looked too good to eat. Mam was in awe of it and must say it tasted damn good as well. It was quite a casual affair but enjoyable to say the least.

More shopping on the way home but then we finally made it home much to Mam's delight. Neither of us like shopping (except for food shopping of course). Aimlessly wandering from shop to shop is not my idea of fun but at this time of year it's very hard not to do just that. Looking here and there for presents to jump of the shelf and say "pick me, pick me"!! However I did manage to pick up one layby.

Saturday night was special for Oliver as his mate, Kypton, from school rang in the afternoon to see if Oliver wanted to go for a sleepover. OF COURSE HE DID!! So it was just us and Alex. She adores Grandma and they sat watching the Christmas Carols together, we had all the candles/tealights lit around the loungeroom making it look special.

Another quick trip to the shops Sunday morning this time for the groceries. Then we had a bbq brunch before setting off on the next mission for the weekend. The mission, which we didn't have an option of accepting, it just had to be done was to tidy the patio area and decorate it for Christmas. Every year I do a different Christmas theme (everyone always comes to us for Christmas day). This year I had chosen the colours of red, silver and white and I had a vision in my head, that I had to describe to Noel and Mam, which didn't really describe my vision if you know what I mean. So I put all the tinsel and bags of ornaments on the table and asked for their help. We put up tinsel around the area where we will eat and then hung snowflakes and fairies everywhere. God it looks ace, it's perfect (even if I say so myself) it's the best we have ever done and will definately take some beating next year! According to Mam, my face said it all!! So did hers.... Thank you Noel and Mam, it wouldn't look this special without your input and help!!

(I will take photo's and post them here soon. I can't just yet as I need to surprise a few people who are coming for Christmas day.....and they read my blog!)

Last night all of us went out for Chinese with Mam and Dad meeting us there. It was great to see all three of our parents chatting away. I am so glad that since the day Noel and I met both families have gotten on really well. It was like watching long lost friends catching up last night. As usual the meal was great with all plates being devoured. The kids are staying at Nana and Grandad's now until Tuesday night so they went home with them. Mam, Noel and I came home and had a few drinks sitting under our newly decorated patio listening to some music. It was a relaxing yet brilliant way to finish off the weekend.

Finally it is Monday again and sadly I had to drop Mam back at Claire's. But it's only until Tuesday when I pick her up again after work and the doctors! I sent my nephew's Christmas presents off with Mam this morning. I would have dearly loved to give them to the boys myself, to see their faces and hopefully enjoyment from the gift but unfortunately it's not going to happen this year.

(Maybe things will change in the future but I can't sit around and wait. I need to get on with my life and that's what I intend to do. Hopefully this will be the last time that I mention this issue because the more I think about it the more it hurts and consumes me. I bet it's not bothering Claire one little bit. So that's it... no more!!)

As I mentioned I had such a wonderful weekend - I couldn't of wished for a better few days with mam and my family. I cannot wait for Christmas Day when we are all together again... thirteen of us blessing the table this year. Of course there is Noel, Oliver, Alex and me, the three grandparents, Grandma, Nana and Grandad, Clare (who flies in from Sydney on Christmas Eve), Sean, Vicky and Christian, Sharon and Tom. Hopefully Christmas 2009 will be a day that we all enjoy and remember!

The feelings of a Friday especially this Friday...

Okay so work is nearly over for the day.. have to kill 15 minutes and look busy! So no better time to post an update for the weekend.

Feeling rather emotional most of this morning - due to the fact that I am longing for that mother/daughter hug, drained from a week of Noel doing night shift and then there is that always nagging problem of my sister in the back of my head. Why can't I shift my thoughts? hhhmmm seriously need to work on that but then that would involve thinking about it....

Anyway this morning after speaking with Mam I have resigned myself to the fact that we wouldn't be seeing her until Tuesday evening. She had decided the right thing to do would be to spend time with Claire and her family. Heartbreaking as it was, I had to accept this fact considering big mouth here actually planted that thought seed the other day as a nice guesture only to ponder whether if the situation was reversed if Claire would have the same care factor as me... definately not is the answer I came up with!

But then the whole situation changed when my mobile rang and it was Mam. Considering the fact that Claire had made plans that Mam didn't want anything to do with so was ringing to ask if we could scap plan #1 and if she could come over to our house for the weekend? Like as if she had to ask at all!! Needless to say once I finish here at work I will be driving to my sisters, SMILING of course, to pick up Mam and take her to our happy (a little bit messy I must admit to) household.

The kids are going to be really excited to see Grandma again.. they asked about her last night so it will be great to see their faces light up when she walks in the door tonight.

Speaking of tonight we will be off shopping just the girls.... Mam, Sharon and me. So that should be an adventure in itself. Then its work for me in the morning and then my work breakup on site. This year it's a pig on a spit, bbq and salads etc. Afterwards better get to cleaning and decorating our outside area for Christmas day and ensuring everything else is in place for next Thursday.

But the best thing of all this weekend is Mam will now be with us until Monday morning....

Grandma arrives today.....

Cannot believe it's the 18th of December already. I just knew December was going to fly by and it has....

.

My mam arrives today from Brisbane. It seems like only yesterday I found out that my uncle had purchased her fares for her as her Christmas present many weeks ago and he was still in Wales then. He's up at her place now but not coming to Melbourne for Christmas. He has made many friends up on the island so that's where he prefers to be.

.

I am excited that Mam is arriving today. It has been too long since I saw her and I can't wait to have one of those mother/daughter hugs that are so special and it doesn't really matter how old you are!

.

Although I am excited, I am also sad. The reason I am sad is I am not sure when I will see my mam. As it's a Thursday today she will go straight to Claire's. That's the deal we all have when she visits. During the week, when we are working she stays at Claire's as Claire doesn't work. Then she comes to us on the weekends, normally on the Friday night and then goes back to Claire's on the Monday morning. This time I am not sure whether we will see Mam on Friday night. As Mam is spending Christmas with me and my family I actually suggested to Mam that she maybe stay with Claire over the weekend so she has some family time with them.

.

Plus there is the small fact that Claire and I still haven't spoken since I told her that I wasn't going to pretend to be happy families anymore. In fact, she hasn't acknowledged the SMS I sent after the last phone call. This is my text that I sent to her on 5/12/08:

"Forgot to ask when we were talking today - why? Why don't you want to associate with me or my family except for when Mam is here? Why don't you want to spend anytime with us? I suppose the overall question is - what have I done? Tell me please! Don't want to continue the way we have been. Would really like to resolve this and move on as a normal family - not a "special occassion" family. I really hope you will contact me soon but it's up to you now!"

Not too harsh I hope, just something I needed to do. The text, I suppose, was a condensed version of the letter that I sent her back in September by registered post that she didn't bother to collect from the post office and it was returned to me!!

.

Needless to say - I have heard nothing. I have had no reply. I am obviously not worthy of any form of explanation or even acknowledgement. I one sense, it confirmed everything.

.

Oh well, although it's eating me up inside I must not let it ruin Christmas for my family... so back to thinking happy thoughts!