Moving on....

The past few days I have spent doing some serious thinking mostly on a personal level. There has been quite a few discussions, a few phone calls and many moments of solitude.

As several of you know and many have read, there has been some major dilemma's in my family not only recently but over the last few years. Many of these dilemma's have been long winded and some still unresolved.

The problem I have is that I just want to fix everything, make everything right and ultimate have peace and happiness surrounding me.

Alas with this latest installment in my life, the separation of my sister and her husband, I have come to realise that my magic wand does not work nor does it actually exist!

I cannot no longer worry about my sister until she reaches out to me for help or support or friendship. The fact that I am offering and wanting to help is not being recipricated by her and is actually emotionally effecting me. I see no future with this relationship as it stands at the moment, as upsetting as it sounds I have to let go.

But thankfully without the use of magic, I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws Ann and Ged. They are of such a help emotionally and fantastic support to both Noel and I. I know that I can talk to them, discuss with them so many aspects of my life and I thank them for being so kind as just to listen. Not to mention that they have a very special and close bond with Oliver and Alexandria.

I am also grateful for the relationship that I have with Clare, who is like a Clayton's sister in law. I say this because she is more like a real sister than one that is related only by title. I love her to bits, chat as often as we can and party like there is no tomorrow when we are together.

Through all the ups and downs that Sean has had in his life with Vicky, we are finally building a relationship with them and their son, Christian. It is a wonderful feeling and I am looking forward to what the future holds not only for them as a family but for all of the family as a whole.
And as you all know my mother is my best friend..... we have a wonderful relationship which at time is more than mother and daughter.

So without the aid of magic, I must move onwards with my life, with my husband, with my children and with my family. For they, along with my mother, are my world.

I'm back!!

Hi World!!

Wow cannot believe that it has been 4 months since I last posted. Unfortunately it has been a case of "I'll do it after", "I'll have more time tommorrow" etc etc. But as we all know - tommorrow never comes and now it is nearly the end of May!

I don't know where to begin - so much has happened since January.

Alex has settled into preps really well. She has a love of school that I hope she retains for the next 12 years. Her teacher, Mrs Bailey, is really happy with her progress and has commented that she is doing exceptionally well.

Oliver is also doing well at school, although I was called to pick him up early today due to a stomach ache that disappeared as soon as we left the school yard. Not sure what the underlying reason behind this is but I am sure it will come out eventually. He is enjoying grade 3 and also likes his teacher, Mrs Matthews.

As far as Noel and I are going - we are still coping with what life is dealing (although it is more bad than good). It is wonderful that at night we can still lie there, tell each other "I love you" and go to sleep with those last words floating in our head.

Weight wise - Noel and I both really need to change and change big time!! Noel is having an ultrasound tommorrow morning on his liver as the last series of blood tests he has recently had shows that there may be a problem. Cross fingers for him on this one. I do believe this scare has jolted Noel a little and he is taking life a little more seriously this last week. Needless to say that as of this morning we have both promised to try and change our lifestyle not just for us but mainly for our kids.

We have just found out that my sister is pregnant on her 4th children. (No one else in my family knows.) She is praying for another boy as she has already had 3 but secretly I am hoping she has a girl. Terrible on me I know but I know how much she adores Alex so I think she deserves a little princess of her own.

Speaking of Claire, she is flying up to see Mam this Wednesday. I am really jealous but would never tell her although I am sure from the body language she knows. It is only a flying visit and she will be telling Mam her exciting news. I am sure Mam will be very surprised!!!

Our League 10 Pin Bowling season is drawing to an end with only two weeks left. It has been fun - especially spending one on one time with Claire. I chose my bowling ball and it has been ordered so I am looking forward to getting that. It is part of our league that we recieve a bowling ball at the end of the season. I can't wait to see it - the colour I chose is called blackberry - a mixture of black and red with sparkles. Hopefully it will look as good as it did on the internet.

On the Murray front - all hell broke loose a few weekends ago with Vicky unleashing her views and thoughts about the family on the mother in law. Ouch it hurt and it hurt big time. I will honestly say that the family will never be the same - even I was dragged under and am quite disappointed in her as a person!! I really feel sorry for Sean (Noel's brother) on so many levels!!

Work has been going really well for me. I have been doing some training off site and my latest trip saw me at Kilmore on Friday. This Friday I am off to Wollert and Diggers Rest the Friday after.... I hate driving... LOL!!!! Noel's work has been fairly quiet and has only started doing overtime again last week. The bank balance is looking wonderful anymore but hey shit happens and we just have to get on with it.

I am starting to ramble now - so I will close and wish you all goodnight!!

~*JO*~